A Nuyorican Vision - Thoughts in Motion

Like so many today, I took time to remember those lost to the 9/11 attack. That day is so surreal. It started for me when I walked out of the house. I usually never make a mental comment about the weather. But that day, I did. I actually told myself "My goodness, what a beautiful day today is."

I took the subway just like many New Yorkers. I went to work like so many that day. I was on the phone with a friend when she said someone just crashed into the building and they are telling us to stay put. I heard it in her voice...she was scared. I advised her to go, get out of there. But her answer to me was "I don't want to get in trouble, T. I am not like you, you trouble maker." She accepts what was told to her although she was scared and her gut was telling her the same thing I had said. The phone eventually went dead. She never got to hear me call her chicken. Never in my mind could I guess what I today know had transpired. America was under attack. Hours later, I see my friend again. But this time, she is on TV and she is holding a man's hand as she jumps out of desperation. And as I watch my friend jump, I see her acceptance of her death but also her defiance. For once, she did not accept what other said or did. She took a stance I could never take. For the true chicken here was me.

This post will contain no flag or pictures of Sarah. It has one of my most biggest treasures, my soul.

To all Americans, may God bless us all.

Although, this originally started as a video blog it is more like a written blog. I guess I must be camera shy...LOL. I was never into writing my words in a blog and found video blogging so much more interesting. So it amazes me that this site has become a written blog for me.

Again, I am looking at my life and reflecting. Just for the record, I live it as well. But I am known for having a reflective attitude so for those that don't know me, I do apologize. Love was the theme of today. A friend came to me today and told me that her husband and her were separating. And I wondered how does love turn to separation? Unfortunately, I know many married couples who are living together in loveless relationships, too many. So as I read her instant message, I wonder when did it happened and how. Did the lines of communication stop? It had to, because communication is key to a relationship. And if we all know this, why do we allow it to happen? Was the catalyst maybe unfulfilled dreams or aspirations? What causes us to stop being "in love?"

After speaking to her, I started to think about my past relationships. Some of my ex-boyfriends are good friends today. But I never said I loved them because I honestly did not. And this thought brought me to my recent heartache. Do I love him? No. But I saw the possibility of loving him. That thought was a surprise. I never realized that I saw a possibility to love a person, really love a person. This made me wonder were all of these loveless or "not in love anymore" relationship once built on the possibility of loving the person and not really loving them? And what is love exacty? Many have defined it but who really knows.

So with this thought I leave this post with the definition that I love the most and one of my favorites from the Bible.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Well I have been gone for a very long time. My Slider is not working properly and so much change has to be done to this vlog.

While away, I did keep in touch with the video aspect of the Web. Yes, I joined the thousands of video chatters. Here I met the strong, the weak, the sick, the healthy, the smart and the dumb and even the confused. I found a boyfriend, left a boyfriend and found a possible "Mr. Right" to find out he was "Mr. Wrong". And during this time, I laughed, cried, listened to new music and made friends. Even learned what an overlay is and used my video tools.

Unlike vlogging, I found instant gratification. To see someone's reaction immediately on cam was exciting to me. I saw all these possibilities of this new Web and was hooked by the people and interaction. The on-line community had me. I have never been into chat but chat with video and music, well that's another story. I had a great time, even when Winter ended (the reason why I joined), PalTalk remained. Spring and Summer soon arrived and although I was not hooked as previously, it became home. I had made so many friends from different parts of the country and even the world. I even met fellow New Yorkers. This new home was comfy and I settled in.

So why today did I leave that world - removed names on my pal list, shut down my user names and remove the software off my laptop? Well, some will say it's because of the failed and misguided online romance. But the truth, the truth is I knew it was time to leave. And therefore, I left Pal just the way I came in, no announcements. Poof! One day I just appeared in PalTalk and now poof, I'm gone.




Now is time to return to a more safer world - vlogging. A world of delayed gratification but I have learned that an instant one can hurt and also hurt others. I have returned to my haven.

Well, I have been so busy lately at work. I am working on a highly visible firm-wide project and have not had time for anything else. Also working late and having to do 3AM meetings with EMEA (Europe, Middle East and Africa) and also with Asia Pacific have not help.

Hopefully, I will be able to edit the videos I have and also do a video for some interesting causes soon.

Well, until then....

Well, I have made some changes. I wanted to add a picture archive to my blog. Unfortunately, since I was posting with Daily Motion (Flash), the pictures did not translate. So I made some changes.

1. The flash files are now accessible via a link instead of being the post picture.
2. The pictures on the post are just that pictures; they are not links. Although, I could use my blip.tv postings, it was just easier to add the jpg files.
3. My header now contains my picture archive. Click on any picture and it will take you to the post.

*Cough* I have caught a cold and I am miserable. I worked from home on Thursday and finally succumbed on Friday. I have done it all - home remedies, natural remedies, drugs. You named it, I have taken it.

*Cough* Haven't seen any videos, haven't edited any videos, haven't been on the Internet until now. I am so tired of resting. *Cough*

Image by: HomestarRunner.com
Short: Sick Day

(Check them out, they are extremely funny!)

For those who have seen my first video post, I now know what is happening to the buildings. It's a name that every New Yorker knows - Trump. Yes, people, the Donald and other major real estate companies are interested in buying properties in my area. And it is working, owners are selling.

Just so you know, I live in Harlem, NY; upper Westside for those not from NYC. My area is close to all means of transportation - trains and buses. I live 2 blocks west of Columbia University and 2 blocks east of Central Park. I have a variety of restaurants, supermarkets and stores at my doorstep.

Since moving to this area 5 years ago, I have seen twelve, yes, twelve luxury condos built. I have seen a tiny empty lot turned into a 4 floors luxury condo building. If you had ever seen this lot you would not believe they would able to build anything there much less a residential building but they did. The apartments take the whole floor and they are beautiful. The building is pictured above. It's the building in the middle and in the picture it looks bigger than what you see in person. As of yet, no one has moved in since its completion in August 2005.

The community is concerned that affordable housing will disappear. What tears at me is that when I moved here 4 1/2 years ago, I was expecting this to happen. You see, I leased out my high rise NJ condo with all its luxuries such as a doorman, pool and washer and dryer in each floor to move to Harlem. Why? I wanted to be on the ground floor to the new "Renaissance". I picked my building because it was well kept, in a great location and running in the black for over 6 years. What didn't I count on? Well, that my neighbors would become my friends. That I would come to love the small uncluttered buildings in my community. That my community has much to offer and that people here can be warm, friendly, funny and smart. I was guided with what the media portrayed Harlem to be. This is not to say that I have not seen some things that make me raise an eyebrow but it is nothing like what the media portrays Harlem to be.

So how do I feel now that my dream is becoming more and more a reality; heart-broken. Although, I feel that I will be just fine, I see how the rich is pushing the poor out. So what do I do now? I protest against this assault to my area right along with my community, shoulder to shoulder with my friends.

The moment I saw my first vlog, I was hooked. Went out and brought a digital camera, investigated editing software, looked at other vlogs and sent incredible amounts of time with Freevlog.org, Yahoo VideoBlogging Group, and on and on.

I promise to get better both with topics and editing. And as a member of vlogger community, I will try to post weekly.

Until then.

Well, it's Christmas time. As a Puerto Rican, this is the time for food. Although, Puerto Rican children believe in Santa Claus, the Three Kings "Los Reyes" beat Santa hands down.

We love to make and eat pasteles, arroz con gandules and lechon. By the time December 31st rolls around, you are tired of eating these things since very Puerto Rican household will have it.

We also do parrandas. Parrandas are Christmas Carols done the rough way. Or as one friend calls it "Drunken Christmas Carolling." Usually, a group of friends wait until everyone in the house they are visiting is asleep. You then bang at their door and start asking to come in by singing songs. It's crazy but it's fun.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is from El Gran Combo de Puerto Rico. It's a story that expresses exactly what Christmas is to us. Basically, the singer is telling his friends "Let's forget any issues we faced this year." He wants them to celebrate the season since they normally do not have a chance to get together during the year. The refrain of this song is what Puerto Ricans love to do for Christmas - eating pasteles, arroz con gandules and lechon and of course don't forget the rum! He reminds them that they are to party to the end of the year (which really ends with Three Kings Day on Jan. 6). He tells Puerto Rico to get together and party as one big family.

As a kid, I loved this song. As an adult, I love this song. It brings back memory of home. What's funny is that this tradition is still being upheld by Puerto Ricans everywhere whether we are "back home" or not. Talk about keeping our traditions alive.

So, since I don't own a digital camera as yet but wanting to keep in the tradition that missbhavens has started...Here's my musical version of "It Tastes Like Christmas".

El Gran Combo - La Fiesta De Pillito

It's funny but this entire week, I have been reflecting on my life.

Of the things I know and of those things yet to be learned. I feel there are versions of old, current and new me having their own private meetings in my head. But I have to admit, I am enjoying these reflections. It brings a form of accomplishment, sense of oneself and a hunger for life that cannot be explained in words.

So here's to that wonderful thing about life...the unknown.

Artist: A.C. Smith, "Reflections of a Queen"

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was Blog.