A Nuyorican Vision - Thoughts in Motion

Today, I worked from home like I usually do. The person who has filled the position that will be evacated by me the last week of March has managed to upset 3 global regions - EMEA (London), Asia (Hong Kong) and U.S. (me). He is rude and is acting like he is our manager, so you know that is not sitting well. Well he has managed to piss me off for the second time. I decided not to stew about this because hey this is only temporary. I started to smile instead of getting more angry. Not only that today was the day that I was going downtown to get my resume done professionally by my company's outsourcing group.

Staying positive helps. The person who is my counselor is a firm believer of positive attitude and sending this energy to the Universe. This is awesome because I am the same way. My resume is still being worked on but then it does span almost 20 years of experience and 5 pages long. But I like the fact that we are on the same page.

So here's to positivity and a new job with my new professionally done calling card (resume)!

Now this may seem like a rant post. I am going to do my best not to make it one but the following has been getting on my nerves lately.

I have been experiencing this both in my online community and offline. I recently became aware that my love relationship was over. The reason I write it that way is because I wanted to continue the relationship and have it move forward; the other person did not deemed our relationship worth continuing. Therefore, he was aware of the end way before he told me. Anyway, men have been approaching me asking me whether the relationship is still intact or whether I am still in one. I, for the most part, am an honest person. So I answer "No." Now comes the part that is really getting on my nerves. The next thing out of the man's mouth is usually how stupid that man was, how they can do better, and how about a date or even better, how about some sex (???!!!???).

Now, my answer was pretty simple. I do not comment on how or why he broke up with me. I just said "No; and I don't want to talk about it." So the question is, what makes him stupid? Whatever happened to I am not a fit for him no matter what and how I feel about him. He has the right to say "This person is not for me." I have done it and others have done it too. It really does not matter that the other person in the relationship wants to continue; the relationship requires two people and one of them has rejected the relationship. Also, what makes you think that just because you have been flirting with me that I want you? Chances are, the flirting, was one-sided - yours. I am in love with a man in a state far away from me. All my thoughts and eyes only dealt with him. You were probably someone I was being polite to but not interested in any way. Asking me out on a date or even saying you are willing to take care of me sexually, boggles my mind. I have not asked you for anything. I have never shown interest in you in any kind of way. And coming to me on the sexual tip puts three bold red XXXs on your forehead. An "X" is my reject mark. Three means there is no way in hell I will ever be attracted to you. Also since my awareness of the end of the relationship happened in late January, what makes you think I want to be in another relationship right now? All of them were told that 'Mr. Right' found me. Even if he made himself 'Mr. Wrong', what makes you think that you are 'Mr. Right'? Because right now in my eyes, your approach is all so wrong. It almost seems to me that men think I have this little pink book where their names and numbers are stored. At the end of any relationship, I flip through it saying "Next." I remember men actually telling me "Well, if it does not work out, I'll date you or want you?" What makes you think that I would choose you? I know you are there and yet I show no signs of wanting to be with you ever. What makes you think that has changed?

Right now I am not in the I-hate-men club. I like men and don't have any plans ever on becoming a lesbian. It's just not in the cards for me. But I do want 'me' time. I have tons of things to do and don't want a relationship with a man unless it is a friendship - nothing more nor nothing less.

So rest assure, the pink book, although it does exist, is not being used. And the word 'Next' is being used only to check off the things that I need to accomplished which does not include you.

PS: I really do own the address book pictured. :)

For the last few weeks, I have been reflecting about the past year and the month of January of this year. It is amazing to me that my personal and professional lives both called it quits in January of 2008. As I was reflecting, I realized that I had moved from a positive path to a more negative path in 2007. This became more obvious when a friend called me and interrupted my thoughts. She called to tell her drama and spew negativity about men. As I listened, I realized that I, a generally positive person, have surrounded myself with negativity. What amused me as I half listened to her and listened more to my own thoughts is that negativity overpowered the positive in 2007 and January,2008. I know that positivity is more powerful than negativity but when it is completely surrounded by negativity, the light will dim a bit.

Today, I experienced someone's negativity trying to rain on my parade. Instead, I calmly said what I had to say and ended it with word "peace". I put on some tunes that always get my butt to jump around with joy and left the negativity aside. Positivity won this time. And at that moment I realized, it is up to me to be diligent on which path I chose to live.

My Chosen Path....Positivity

For those who know me, you know how I feel about my IPod. I still mourn the lost of my red Nano - the series before this new one which I don't like. I now have a ITouch. I know that Ipods are not the best when it comes to MP3 players; there are better ones out there. But I just love my IPods. And now, Apple has merged one of my favorite products with one of my favorite songs. I just love this commercial.

Wow, January came in with many twists and turns.

First, my mom went into the hospital for her second catherization in the first week of January. During this minor surgery, she had a heart attack. She was in the ICU for two week with a total hospital stay of 3 weeks. So I began to think well my mom is fine so life will go back to normal. But the last week of January was not to be outdone.

The breakdown of the last week of January:

Monday, Jan. 28 - Wednesday, Jan. 30
I can't really write about this. But I am extremely devastated about the situation.

Thursday, Jan. 31
I go into the office for a meeting with my senior management. Nothing new. During the meeting, I was handed a manilla folder with a notice that within 60 days, I was no longer an employee. I have been laid off. My company is trying to move non-essential employees out of the NY/NJ area. My group has been affected. If I want to keep my job I would have to move to either Chicago (too cold) or Ohio (too boring and cold). No relocation expenses and I would have to re-apply for my job. I must admit that I am fortunate to have people that care for me. My senior manager had gotten teary-eyed while talking to me. I felt so bad for him. My manager who I have never met but is such a great manager and who I totally adore, was there for me as well. Even my first manager to that group reached out to me. I completely appreciate them for that. I have to admit I knew and comprehended what was happening. I knew this was a business decision and not a performance issue;I wasn't the only one to get laid off. I am not angry nor resentful. I just thought boy, I need to make sure everything is documented and ready for the new person and went back to work.

So with that, all I have to say is:

Whew, thank goodness January is finally over! :)