Now this may seem like a rant post. I am going to do my best not to make it one but the following has been getting on my nerves lately.
I have been experiencing this both in my online community and offline. I recently became aware that my love relationship was over. The reason I write it that way is because I wanted to continue the relationship and have it move forward; the other person did not deemed our relationship worth continuing. Therefore, he was aware of the end way before he told me. Anyway, men have been approaching me asking me whether the relationship is still intact or whether I am still in one. I, for the most part, am an honest person. So I answer "No." Now comes the part that is really getting on my nerves. The next thing out of the man's mouth is usually how stupid that man was, how they can do better, and how about a date or even better, how about some sex (???!!!???).
Now, my answer was pretty simple. I do not comment on how or why he broke up with me. I just said "No; and I don't want to talk about it." So the question is, what makes him stupid? Whatever happened to I am not a fit for him no matter what and how I feel about him. He has the right to say "This person is not for me." I have done it and others have done it too. It really does not matter that the other person in the relationship wants to continue; the relationship requires two people and one of them has rejected the relationship. Also, what makes you think that just because you have been flirting with me that I want you? Chances are, the flirting, was one-sided - yours. I am in love with a man in a state far away from me. All my thoughts and eyes only dealt with him. You were probably someone I was being polite to but not interested in any way. Asking me out on a date or even saying you are willing to take care of me sexually, boggles my mind. I have not asked you for anything. I have never shown interest in you in any kind of way. And coming to me on the sexual tip puts three bold red XXXs on your forehead. An "X" is my reject mark. Three means there is no way in hell I will ever be attracted to you. Also since my awareness of the end of the relationship happened in late January, what makes you think I want to be in another relationship right now? All of them were told that 'Mr. Right' found me. Even if he made himself 'Mr. Wrong', what makes you think that you are 'Mr. Right'? Because right now in my eyes, your approach is all so wrong. It almost seems to me that men think I have this little pink book where their names and numbers are stored. At the end of any relationship, I flip through it saying "Next." I remember men actually telling me "Well, if it does not work out, I'll date you or want you?" What makes you think that I would choose you? I know you are there and yet I show no signs of wanting to be with you ever. What makes you think that has changed?
Right now I am not in the I-hate-men club. I like men and don't have any plans ever on becoming a lesbian. It's just not in the cards for me. But I do want 'me' time. I have tons of things to do and don't want a relationship with a man unless it is a friendship - nothing more nor nothing less.
So rest assure, the pink book, although it does exist, is not being used. And the word 'Next' is being used only to check off the things that I need to accomplished which does not include you.
PS: I really do own the address book pictured. :)
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