A Nuyorican Vision - Thoughts in Motion

I previously stated that I had in the past been a Roman Catholic and a Jehovah's Witness. Today the latter religion came knocking at my door. First and foremost, I am not a disfellowed member. Disfellowship, for those that do not know, is when the congregation shuns you for some sinful act and you are no longer associated as a member. I am a disassociated member because it was my decision to leave. As a disassociated member, I am shunned by my former Jehovah's Witnesses friends and family members since I have not repented, i.e., have not returned to the fellowship, I will never be resurrected once God reigns again. This is according to the Jehovah's Witnesses.

At the age of 17, I was very dissatified with my Catholic religion and was looking for answers to many of my questions. While in high school, I met and had a friendship with a fellow student who was a Jehovah Witness. After several visits, I started going to my local Kingdom Hall which happened to be just a block away from my parents' home. I never felt comfortable with them but at least unlike my former religion, I did get answers. Today, I do not accept a lot of the answers I received but at 17, something was better than nothing. I will go into the reasons why in another post, I promise. I have a lot to say about being a Roman Catholic and a Jehovah Witness. But I will say this much, the guilt put on me during my time as a Jehovah Witness was extreme. I was a non-smoker, at the time, and had never had a drop of alcohol until the age of 24. I left the fellowship at the age of 23.

My biggest sin was that I fell in love and married a man who was not a Jehovah Witness. He actually considered himself an atheist. Today, I would say my husband was no such thing, he was agnostic. He believed in a higher power but gave it no name. And he lived a honest, considerate life as far as any human can. My fellow brothers and sisters continued to attack me for not trying to convert him or rather as they would say it "save him". They are right, I never tried to get him to convert. He respected me and my beliefs and I returned the favor. The elders would lecture me endlessly about our marriage and "bedroom" behavior. They wanted details on both on a constant basis since I was in a way in danger of "becoming a lost sheep." I left them when I was 23 and my husband was sick from leukemia. My husband was dying and what I was told by one of the elders is that my Jehovah was doing this because he was dissatified with my husband and that my husband would never ever see eternal life. That was it, I left. Over the years, I wandered around in search of God. Even this year, I returned back to Catholicism and did Jehovah Witness bible studies. How's that for being twisted? I am now a member of a non-denominational church and feel that I have found a true fellowship for me.

I am currently reading Raymond Franz's In Search of Christian Freedom. Franz is an ex-Witness and was also an elder at one time. Of course, his books are not preferred reading in the JW community. I was reading this particular book when I got a knock at the door. It was one of the Witness that stands in the subway which I use to go to work. Upon seeing the book in my hand, she said "Jehovah guided me to your door." I laughed at that comment because I would have probably have said the same thing in her shoes. She began to talk to me about her scriptures. The reason why I say her scriptures is because she is getting a lot of her information from the New World Translation bible and the WatchTower. Both things are published by Jehovah Witnesses. We began to talk and I told her all about her religion and that I was disassociated member. She left my home by saying that I was lost. For the past few weeks, I have stop smoking. Completely stopped by prayer and dedication, I have found strength against this demon. I am relaxed and continue to grow my relationship with God and Jesus. So I thought as I was closing the door, she feels that I am lost and I know that I am drinking from the best well.

Afterthought: I am back on PalTalk under another username and am frequently in the ExJehovahs Witness following Jesus room. If you are a member of PalTalk you should come and visit that room. It's very interesting.